Deputy press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders (who described herself as the daughter of Mike Huckabee "and a big Southern hamburger") did her best to cover for her absent boss, assuring reporters that he was not, in fact, lurking in the bushes.
But McCarthy's Spicer returned to the lectern, armed with a fire extinguisher to put "his trousers out" for lying. "She doesn't have your special spice, salt and pepper, a little sugar", Trump says, tickling Spicer.
McCarthy took repeated pies to the face as a hapless contestant on a game show called "Just Desserts!"
A reporter from the pool then asked McCarthy about the hot topic: Russian collusion.
"I'll tell you what, they'll be very unhappy", Trump said of news networks, "because the ratings are so high that I don't know what these networks are going to do". He told me so. Period. Then he hired lawyers to agree with him.
The White House daily press briefing has been a journalistic institution for more than 100 years, forcing administrations to clarify their positions, answer for their statements, and generally be held accountable by the press (and, through them, their readers) since Woodrow Wilson's time in office.
The first doll featured a painting of Trump.
We saw more of "SNL's" thoughtful approach to comedy moments later when "Spicer" asked "Trump" if the rumors are true that he was gong to be fired.
UK PM's party secures big gains in local polls
May's party replaced Labour as the largest group in Nottinghamshire, Lancashire, Cumbria, Northumberland and Derbyshire. But the poll pain could continue as results feed through for Scotland, where Labour has been decimated by the SNP.
Nadal snaps winless streak vs Djokovic to reach Madrid final
The 29-year-old progressed to the semi-finals of the Madrid Open this week but saw his progress halted at the hands of an old foe. He conceded only two break opportunities to Djokovic, who converted one early in the second set.
Holmes, Stanley share one-stroke lead
Fiji's three-time major victor Vijay Singh rolled back the years to card a 68 and that performance moved him up to fourth. He started the third round five shots out of the lead, poised to move into contention for the richest tournament in golf.
Spicy's dollies came out, this time in the not-so-subtle form of Russian nesting dolls representing Trump, Jake the Dog from Adventure Time as Comey, Maleficent as Hillary Clinton, Slimer from Ghostbusters as Steve Bannon, and Pikachu as Jeff Sessions - with a shirtless Putin doll snuck in there as a prank.
When questions still prevailed, McCarthy gave up any tactical reasoning and instead picked up a pillar from the side of the stage and hurled it into the crowd. "I hope to god it killed her".
Spicer then told Trump he couldn't do this anymore, which led the President to say how much he cares about Spicer and even request a kiss. "He wouldn't do that".
"He wouldn't do that", a tearful McCarthy said.
Self-doubt rising, McCarthy's Spicer mumbled "he wouldn't do that, he's my friend", before setting off on his motorised podium through NY to confront his employer. But I get two scoops, OK?
"Sean, kiss me", Baldwin said.